A Funny Thing Happened.....
Moderator: TMAX
Got to thinking about funny car-related incidents the other day-
Back around 1990 when my son was about 11 or 12, I took him down to central California to Placerville to see his grandparents, my first wife's folks. (My first wife had been killed in an auto accident when he was 1 year old, and I had remarried, but I always made sure he kept close to his mom's folks, since he was the only grandkid)
We had taken a new Mercury Cougar XR7 that was loaded up, and he was impressed with the car. I worked at a Ford-Mercury dealership as the general manager at the time, and the car was a perk to use on trips, etc.
As we cruised along on one leg of the journey, I had the car on cruise control and was trying to eat a hamburger we had just bought. It was a long straight virtually deserted stretch of Nevada desert, so I just dropped the tilt wheel a little, and steered the car with my left knee so I could eat with both hands. He looked over at me, and said "Dad, does this car have automatic steering too?!" He was amazed! "Of course I said" and played it up for a while, until he noticed that the steering wheel was touching my knee. End of that joke!
Back around 1990 when my son was about 11 or 12, I took him down to central California to Placerville to see his grandparents, my first wife's folks. (My first wife had been killed in an auto accident when he was 1 year old, and I had remarried, but I always made sure he kept close to his mom's folks, since he was the only grandkid)
We had taken a new Mercury Cougar XR7 that was loaded up, and he was impressed with the car. I worked at a Ford-Mercury dealership as the general manager at the time, and the car was a perk to use on trips, etc.
As we cruised along on one leg of the journey, I had the car on cruise control and was trying to eat a hamburger we had just bought. It was a long straight virtually deserted stretch of Nevada desert, so I just dropped the tilt wheel a little, and steered the car with my left knee so I could eat with both hands. He looked over at me, and said "Dad, does this car have automatic steering too?!" He was amazed! "Of course I said" and played it up for a while, until he noticed that the steering wheel was touching my knee. End of that joke!
I just read this from replies to some reports on a news site.
Hello! My name is Jorge Puello, and I'm a painter, but not a very honest one, because I put a lot of water in the paint to avoid buying more. Last night, an angel from God came to me in a dream and ordered me to forsake my evil ways, saying, "REPAINT, YOU THINNER!'' lol :op
Hello! My name is Jorge Puello, and I'm a painter, but not a very honest one, because I put a lot of water in the paint to avoid buying more. Last night, an angel from God came to me in a dream and ordered me to forsake my evil ways, saying, "REPAINT, YOU THINNER!'' lol :op
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Whew! This took place over the fall of '84 to spring of '85. I had stepped out of Jack's Bus and bought myself a 28ft travel trailer and towed it to a 20 acre parcel. I arrived with some laying hens and 4 giant Leghorn roosters. I'd get spurred everymorning as I stepped out of the trailer on my way to the outhouse.
Late that fall I acquired 8 newly weaned pitbull/doberman puppies. If I let them out of the trailer the roosters chased and spurred any who didn't cower under the front of the trailer. It was a long winter, with 8 puddles of pee and 8 piles of poo to greet me everytime I opened the door. Eventually though winter passed and the snow went off.
By that spring, I'd had it with living that close to the road. I bought a 1917 Cleveland Tractor CO. tracked tractor and hitched it to my trailer. Then I pulled it to the back quarter of the acerage and settled under a big sugar maple. The puppies and I found peace there, as the roosters hung around the coop I built for the hens up by the road.
Life went on and the puppies got bigger. They explored their turf in ever widening rings. The puppies got bigger and braver, finally exploring over the hill and out of sight in the direction of the coop.
Late that fall I acquired 8 newly weaned pitbull/doberman puppies. If I let them out of the trailer the roosters chased and spurred any who didn't cower under the front of the trailer. It was a long winter, with 8 puddles of pee and 8 piles of poo to greet me everytime I opened the door. Eventually though winter passed and the snow went off.
By that spring, I'd had it with living that close to the road. I bought a 1917 Cleveland Tractor CO. tracked tractor and hitched it to my trailer. Then I pulled it to the back quarter of the acerage and settled under a big sugar maple. The puppies and I found peace there, as the roosters hung around the coop I built for the hens up by the road.
Life went on and the puppies got bigger. They explored their turf in ever widening rings. The puppies got bigger and braver, finally exploring over the hill and out of sight in the direction of the coop.
There was a confirmed old batchelor who began to worry in his later years about being alone in his advanced old age. A friend of his began to advise him to find a wife, that it was never to late to find happiness in matrimony. "But I don't think I can find a wife" complained the old batchelor "because I have always suffered from having very smelly feet! I've tried everything I can think of to cure it, but nothing works!" 
"Don't sweat it" said his friend, "maby you can find an old maid who was never married because she had some kind of problem too, and she will be forgiving of your smelly feet".
So- the next time the old duffer was down at the senior citizen's center, he noticed an old gal sitting all alone over in the corner. Even though she was quite homely, and rail thin (she reminded him of the highway between Ft Worth and Dallas- "NO curves!"
) he decided to go over and strike up a conversation with her and try and get to know her.
Soon the old maid and the old batchelor were quite the couple, and as time progressed, they decided to become engaged. But one thing puzzled the old guy, his new gal would never let him kiss her. She just said that they could kiss after they got married. The old maid did not want to kiss the old duffer and have him find out that she suffered from severe bad breath. It was Barn Breath, Outhouse Breath, Dog Breath, it was really bad!
Soon, the day of the nuptials arrived and all went rather smoothly, all things considered. After the reception, they hurried off on thier honeymoon, and when they got to thier motel room, the old maid said she would go and slip into something special and be right back out. The old batchelor was worried, he had left his smelly socks in the bathroom, and he was sure his new wife would discover his dreadful secret.
Soon she reappeared and came over and threw her arms around his neck and said in her most sexy "come hither" voice, "Before you kiss me big boy, I have a secret I must tell you, and I beg for your understanding, ok?"
"Oh sweetheart" he replied "I think I know what it is- you've been chewing on my dirty socks, haven't you?"
"Don't sweat it" said his friend, "maby you can find an old maid who was never married because she had some kind of problem too, and she will be forgiving of your smelly feet".
So- the next time the old duffer was down at the senior citizen's center, he noticed an old gal sitting all alone over in the corner. Even though she was quite homely, and rail thin (she reminded him of the highway between Ft Worth and Dallas- "NO curves!"
) he decided to go over and strike up a conversation with her and try and get to know her.Soon the old maid and the old batchelor were quite the couple, and as time progressed, they decided to become engaged. But one thing puzzled the old guy, his new gal would never let him kiss her. She just said that they could kiss after they got married. The old maid did not want to kiss the old duffer and have him find out that she suffered from severe bad breath. It was Barn Breath, Outhouse Breath, Dog Breath, it was really bad!
Soon, the day of the nuptials arrived and all went rather smoothly, all things considered. After the reception, they hurried off on thier honeymoon, and when they got to thier motel room, the old maid said she would go and slip into something special and be right back out. The old batchelor was worried, he had left his smelly socks in the bathroom, and he was sure his new wife would discover his dreadful secret.
Soon she reappeared and came over and threw her arms around his neck and said in her most sexy "come hither" voice, "Before you kiss me big boy, I have a secret I must tell you, and I beg for your understanding, ok?"
"Oh sweetheart" he replied "I think I know what it is- you've been chewing on my dirty socks, haven't you?"
I lived in the 66 Chevy motorhome for many years. I had a doberman dog named Abby. Here is a picture of her.
Abby was prone to let out some stinky farts.
One day, I must have eaten some raw cabbage. If you know anything about raw cabbage, you know that you will expel a green cloud of very smelly gases. They are almost caustic, and will surely send people running.
So, that evening, my ex wife and I are laying in the bed, and I let out a horrendous gas.
Immediately, we both smell it, and I say "Abby, you stinky dog"!!! I say to my ex, get under the blanket, and you won't smell it.
So, she gets under the blanket, and immediately screams and jumps out of the bed.
Just too funny!!!
Abby was prone to let out some stinky farts.
One day, I must have eaten some raw cabbage. If you know anything about raw cabbage, you know that you will expel a green cloud of very smelly gases. They are almost caustic, and will surely send people running.
So, that evening, my ex wife and I are laying in the bed, and I let out a horrendous gas.
Immediately, we both smell it, and I say "Abby, you stinky dog"!!! I say to my ex, get under the blanket, and you won't smell it.
So, she gets under the blanket, and immediately screams and jumps out of the bed.
Just too funny!!!
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Jones'n4chrome
- Posts: 778
- Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 3:10 pm
She is not my ex because of my being flatulent. There are other reasons.
By the way, you REALLY goofed on me big time when you answered the phone by saying "Shiloh Music". You have a good memory. You are also a good goofer. I know you have some fun stories stored in that noggin of yours.
By the way, you REALLY goofed on me big time when you answered the phone by saying "Shiloh Music". You have a good memory. You are also a good goofer. I know you have some fun stories stored in that noggin of yours.
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It never occurred to me that some dogs are mentally retarded. I discovered early on that my dog, Abby, (pictured above) actually was.
I was doing some remodel work on a house. The woman who owned the house suggested that I bring Abby over to play with her Dobie. So, I did.
The back yard had a pool, and next to that was a three foot concrete wall at the bottom of a steep hill. Her dobie would jump the wall and play on the steep hill which was all part of the yard.
Abby would play with her dog, but when Her dog would go to the hilly part, Abby would just stand at the wall, wondering how she could get up there. I guess it never occurred to Abby that all she had to do was jump the wall. I watched her for three days whining as to why she couldn't be up there playing with the other dog. I suspected, at that point, that Abby was short of a full load.
What happened next totally convinced me that Abby was, indeed, severely lacking in brain power. Abby was on one side of the pool, the other dog was on the other side of the pool. Abby wants to go say hi. She walks towards the pool and continues walking as if there is no water there. (Maybe she thought she could walk on water).
So she continues walking forward and walks right into the pool! The look of surprise on her face was priceless. I laughed so hard watching her try to swim around and get out of the pool. She kept swimming in a circle while I laughed hysterically. I actually had to grab her front legs and pull her out.
Well, she only did that once. She then kept her distance form the pool. Maybe she had just a little more brains than I gave her credit for.
I was doing some remodel work on a house. The woman who owned the house suggested that I bring Abby over to play with her Dobie. So, I did.
The back yard had a pool, and next to that was a three foot concrete wall at the bottom of a steep hill. Her dobie would jump the wall and play on the steep hill which was all part of the yard.
Abby would play with her dog, but when Her dog would go to the hilly part, Abby would just stand at the wall, wondering how she could get up there. I guess it never occurred to Abby that all she had to do was jump the wall. I watched her for three days whining as to why she couldn't be up there playing with the other dog. I suspected, at that point, that Abby was short of a full load.
What happened next totally convinced me that Abby was, indeed, severely lacking in brain power. Abby was on one side of the pool, the other dog was on the other side of the pool. Abby wants to go say hi. She walks towards the pool and continues walking as if there is no water there. (Maybe she thought she could walk on water).
So she continues walking forward and walks right into the pool! The look of surprise on her face was priceless. I laughed so hard watching her try to swim around and get out of the pool. She kept swimming in a circle while I laughed hysterically. I actually had to grab her front legs and pull her out.
Well, she only did that once. She then kept her distance form the pool. Maybe she had just a little more brains than I gave her credit for.
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i sure wish i had something funny to add -
Jones'n4chrome
- Posts: 778
- Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 3:10 pm
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