A Funny Thing Happened.....

splummer · Post by **splummer** » Wed Apr 20, 2011 7:23 am

sorry i just dont see any thing funny at tax time . steve

Griff · Post by **Griff** » Thu Apr 21, 2011 10:31 am

graydawg wrote:...Griff now tell me you didn't do that...

No James, I didn't. It's a joke that was passed along to me, but I found it rather hilarious...I'd have been the tall guy falling out from laughter...

My supremely snarky comebacks only occur to me about 30 seconds AFTER the incident(s) have ended and it's too late to use them...(it's God's way of trying to protect me from foot-in-mouth disease, heh)!

graydawg · Post by **graydawg** » Fri Apr 22, 2011 3:43 pm

I know all about the delayed comebacks, I usually get them a hour or more later though, I have been asked that question a bunch of times before, at walmart, while wrestling a 40 lb sack of purina dog chow,best I ever came up with, I have a cat that thinks hes a dog, but I will know what to say now, but my luck no one will ask me again.

Rudy · Post by **Rudy** » Tue Apr 26, 2011 1:16 am

A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day by finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale slashed by 75 percent in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang.

It was the ER doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition in the ICU.

The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible. As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques.

She decided to get in a couple more shops before heading to the hospital. She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop. She was jubilant. Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital.

She saw a doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition. The doctor glared at her and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your shopping trip, didn't you!? I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in pain in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you'll ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care. And he will now be your burden!"
The woman, overcome with guilt, broke down and sobbed.

Then the lady doctor began to laugh and said, "I'm just messing with you sister. He's dead. Now show me what you bought."

Rudy · Post by **Rudy** » Tue Apr 26, 2011 1:26 am

Did I read that sign right?

In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER . . . PLEASE USE THE FLOOR BELOW

In a laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.
WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen at a church:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.
(PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Rudy · Post by **Rudy** » Mon May 02, 2011 12:40 am

Just when I put my Gumby suit on, I get attacked by a dog.

dburt · Post by **dburt** » Mon May 02, 2011 12:55 pm

That cop dog does not like aspargus!

ezrablu · Post by **ezrablu** » Mon May 02, 2011 3:00 pm

or bird cages

dburt · Post by **dburt** » Tue May 03, 2011 3:38 am

Or maby the dog is just trying to correct the guy's left leaning tendency. So does that make the dog a republican?

Headache · Post by **Headache** » Tue May 03, 2011 6:02 am

Schutzhund RAWR!

ezrablu · Post by **ezrablu** » Sun May 08, 2011 3:51 pm

Did ya hear about the lady that backed into a fan? Disaster.

Dennis The Bus Dweller · Mon May 09, 2011 12:34 am

yugogypsy · Post by **yugogypsy** » Mon May 09, 2011 7:44 pm

My Mum's comment on thumbtacks

"Blessed are those who sit on these, for they shall rise again"

Lois

graydawg · Post by **graydawg** » Mon May 09, 2011 8:13 pm

My FOURTH GRADE TEACHER Ms LATTIER did not think it was funny at all, and I SWEAR I did not do it. I was in the ALTER BOY ERA THEN. Who would have ever thunk that one out and I would turn into a bus dweller, and one of the few times I was innocent completely.

James in da GRAYDAWG

yugogypsy · Post by **yugogypsy** » Mon May 09, 2011 8:53 pm

Uh James,,

You put a tack on the teacher's seat????

Someone did it to me

Wasn't funny and the darn tack stuck in my pants

Lois

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