A Funny Thing Happened.....
Moderator: TMAX
Years ago I worked at an small town new Ford/Mercury auto dealership where we tended to be practical jokers.
One day one of the owners called my wife and told her he was from the phone company and was calling to tell her that because of all the complaints from customers, they were going to try and clear up the occasional static noise on the lines by blowing the dust out of the phone lines. The phone company was warning all customers to put all thier phones in plastic bags and sealing them up with tape at 6pm that evening.
Well, she asked him what to do about the corless phones, should they be bagged and sealed also? He about lost it at this point, but he kept from laughing and told her to seal up the cordless phones as well.
He did not tell me he was doing this, and was hoping when I got home that I would ask why all the phones were in sealed bags. But the wife forgot to put the phones in the bags, so I knew nothing of this plot.
When I came to work the next morning, he kept asking me if I had noticed anything unusual the night before. When I was obviously puzzled, he finally 'fessed up and told me what happened.
So, wishing to milk this little prank even more, I went home and asked the wife why there was so much dust around all the phones? She was mortified, she said she had forgot to bag the phones the evening before and would now have to clean up the mess.
At this point I lost it, and began laughing and told her it was Keith from Summit Ford who had called her. Her incrediable reply? "You mean Keith work's part time for the phone company too?"
This woman is now the ex-wife, she left me for an old boyfriend of hers, not all the jokes at her very gullible expense!
One day one of the owners called my wife and told her he was from the phone company and was calling to tell her that because of all the complaints from customers, they were going to try and clear up the occasional static noise on the lines by blowing the dust out of the phone lines. The phone company was warning all customers to put all thier phones in plastic bags and sealing them up with tape at 6pm that evening.
Well, she asked him what to do about the corless phones, should they be bagged and sealed also? He about lost it at this point, but he kept from laughing and told her to seal up the cordless phones as well.
He did not tell me he was doing this, and was hoping when I got home that I would ask why all the phones were in sealed bags. But the wife forgot to put the phones in the bags, so I knew nothing of this plot.
When I came to work the next morning, he kept asking me if I had noticed anything unusual the night before. When I was obviously puzzled, he finally 'fessed up and told me what happened.
So, wishing to milk this little prank even more, I went home and asked the wife why there was so much dust around all the phones? She was mortified, she said she had forgot to bag the phones the evening before and would now have to clean up the mess.
At this point I lost it, and began laughing and told her it was Keith from Summit Ford who had called her. Her incrediable reply? "You mean Keith work's part time for the phone company too?"
This woman is now the ex-wife, she left me for an old boyfriend of hers, not all the jokes at her very gullible expense!
DB, Her reply was definitely the punch line of the story. That is SO funny!
So, my friend, I know you have more aces up your sleeve. I am going to wait a little before I let out some of mine. I would really like the guest (ghost) readers to pipe in and give us some of their jolly stories.
DON"T BE AFRAID, PEOPLE!. This is the friendliest site on the web.
And now for a high school football cheer: Rah Rah Ree, Kick 'em in the knee. Rah Rah Rass, Kick 'em in the other knee.
If what you have read on this forum makes you laugh, give us some back. We all need it. Rudy
So, my friend, I know you have more aces up your sleeve. I am going to wait a little before I let out some of mine. I would really like the guest (ghost) readers to pipe in and give us some of their jolly stories.
DON"T BE AFRAID, PEOPLE!. This is the friendliest site on the web.
And now for a high school football cheer: Rah Rah Ree, Kick 'em in the knee. Rah Rah Rass, Kick 'em in the other knee.
If what you have read on this forum makes you laugh, give us some back. We all need it. Rudy
Last edited by Rudy on Wed Dec 02, 2009 2:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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PapaBrewsky
- Posts: 16
- Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:25 am
- Location: Old Hickory, TN
- Contact:
I grew up in Kansas, in a little town with a population of around 400. The town was maybe 3/4 of a mile square surrounded by nothing but wheat fields, and the only paved street was the one that went through the middle of town; in one side, out the other. All the other side streets were gravel. Before I was old enough to drive scooter & go-karts, we rode all over town on bicycles. I was so thrilled when my parents bought me my 1st 3 speed bike. It had both front & rear brakes, and they were on the handlebars, just like a motorcycle! I rode to my friend Robbie's house, who was out on the street, and I told him,"Man, this bike stops on a dime!". He immediately took a dime out of his pocket, threw it down on the gravel and said "Show me!". I laughed at the joke, but I was anxious to show him the bike's abilities, so I backed off about 50 yards, took a speed and slid to a stop next to him, covering him in a cloud of dust. He nodded his approval as I put the kickstand down & we looked around in the gravel for his coin (10 cents could buy a bottle of pop in those days). After searching unsuccessfully for 1/2 a minute, we suddenly looked at each other in shock. I rolled the bike back & there under the front tire was the dime!
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PapaBrewsky
- Posts: 16
- Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:25 am
- Location: Old Hickory, TN
- Contact:
Billy the blind guy.
Here's something crazy I once did: I was driving across the United States in my 1958 Ford pickup truck. I was in Nevada on a long stretch of straight highway. This truck could only go 55 miles per hour. It was three o'clock in the afternoon on a bright summer day.
I rarely pick up hitch hikers. I look ahead and see a guy with sunglasses on, and carrying a back pack. I think to myself, "just what is this guy doing in the middle of the desert on the side of the highway?" So, I figured I would give him a ride.
I quickly slow down and pull over onto the side of the road. I look out my back window and I see him turn his head from side to side. I figured that he would come running, or at least walk quickly towards the truck. Not the case! Instead he walks slowly, and with each step, shuffles his feet in the sand on the side of the road. I began to think that I had made a mistake in stopping for this guy.
After 45 seconds, he gets close to my truck. I thought it was weird that while he was approaching my truck , he was looking in a different direction. Well, as he gets closer, he puts his hands out in front of him and he feels the truck bed and follows it to the cab.
He gets to the door and opens it up, and with a big grin says, " Hi, I'm Billy, how far are you going?" I told him that I was on my way to California. He asked me if he could throw his back pack in the back of the truck. I said that would be fine.
I asked him what he was doing out here in the middle of nowhere. He said he had been walking for quite a while. He said he was hitch hiking across the country. It was something he always wanted to do. Naturally, I was a little leery about this guy, so I made sure that my lead pipe was close at hand under my seat.
So we get underway, and he tells me a little bit about himself. He told me that he had spent the winter in Vermont while visiting some relatives during the winter. He said that it was the first time that he had gone downhill skiing. He also mentioned about riding a sled, but that he needed help with that.
So I listen to him for about ten minutes, and I don't say much. As I said, I rarely pick up hitch hikers. After a little while, I become at ease with this stranger. I did find it weird that he never turned to look at me when he spoke.
So a half hour goes by, and I figure Billy is sleeping. It was hard to tell because of the dark sunglasses he was wearing. He just kept "looking" straight ahead. Then, all of a sudden, he says, "did you know that I am blind?"
I said "WHAT?" he said, yes I am totally blind. I asked him what the hell was he doing hitch hiking across the US. Billy said that it was something he always wanted to do.
I found out later that Billy came from a rich family and he could have flown to California (probably in a private jet). I said "you're joking aren't you?" Then he took off his sunglasses. WOW!!! There was no disputing that he was blind.
So then I asked him, just how the hell did you do downhill skiing. He told me that he went with friends who skied along side him and guided him down the hill. He also told me that he was an avid golfer. I'll never understand that. He said that he has driven many motorcycles (with a sighted friend on the back of the seat).
Well, by now, He's got me laughing about all his adventures. So, Billy says that one thing that he has never done is drive a vehicle. He asks me if he may drive the truck. By now, I am laughing so hard that I am about to pee in my pants. Billy says, "do you think I could drive your truck?" I said, You must be nuts!!". He said, " I can do it".
Well, I was thinking that it would be utterly preposterous to let a blind man drive my truck on the highway, or any road, for that matter. I did not answer him for a few minutes. Then I thought, "he may never have this opportunity again." So, I said OK. I pulled over, and he slid over behind the steering wheel.
I told him that he would have to follow my instructions implicitly. The first thing was to get his feet acquainted with the pedals. That went well. I showed him how to use the shifter. After practicing shifting the gear lever and using the pedals, I had him start the engine. I looked on the road, and there was nobody around. I told him to rev up the engine a little and let out the clutch.
I thought to myself that this was the craziest thing that I had ever done, but on the other hand, it was a whole lot of fun. Billy was SO excited. I actually let him do the steering too. So we start moving forward and I tell him to turn the steering wheel a little to the left.
Now, we are on the road. He got the hang of shifting very quickly, however, for the half hour that he drove the truck, I had to tell him every two seconds how to turn the wheel. I am amazed how well he did. There were even cars and semi's that passed us. That was pretty scary for me. I was a good co-pilot though.
After a half hour, I asked him if he had had enough. He said that it was the funnest thing he had ever done in his life. So I drove the rest of the way and actually went way out of my way to drop him off at his aunt's house.
Then as he was getting out, he reaches into his backpack and counts out 10 one hundred dollar bills and hands them to me. I said,"you don't have to do that." He said " I've got more money than you may ever see. Apparently, he had more money than he would ever see!. He said thanks for an experience that he will remember for the rest of his life. I still don't know how he knew that they were 100 dollar bills.
I rarely pick up hitch hikers. I look ahead and see a guy with sunglasses on, and carrying a back pack. I think to myself, "just what is this guy doing in the middle of the desert on the side of the highway?" So, I figured I would give him a ride.
I quickly slow down and pull over onto the side of the road. I look out my back window and I see him turn his head from side to side. I figured that he would come running, or at least walk quickly towards the truck. Not the case! Instead he walks slowly, and with each step, shuffles his feet in the sand on the side of the road. I began to think that I had made a mistake in stopping for this guy.
After 45 seconds, he gets close to my truck. I thought it was weird that while he was approaching my truck , he was looking in a different direction. Well, as he gets closer, he puts his hands out in front of him and he feels the truck bed and follows it to the cab.
He gets to the door and opens it up, and with a big grin says, " Hi, I'm Billy, how far are you going?" I told him that I was on my way to California. He asked me if he could throw his back pack in the back of the truck. I said that would be fine.
I asked him what he was doing out here in the middle of nowhere. He said he had been walking for quite a while. He said he was hitch hiking across the country. It was something he always wanted to do. Naturally, I was a little leery about this guy, so I made sure that my lead pipe was close at hand under my seat.
So we get underway, and he tells me a little bit about himself. He told me that he had spent the winter in Vermont while visiting some relatives during the winter. He said that it was the first time that he had gone downhill skiing. He also mentioned about riding a sled, but that he needed help with that.
So I listen to him for about ten minutes, and I don't say much. As I said, I rarely pick up hitch hikers. After a little while, I become at ease with this stranger. I did find it weird that he never turned to look at me when he spoke.
So a half hour goes by, and I figure Billy is sleeping. It was hard to tell because of the dark sunglasses he was wearing. He just kept "looking" straight ahead. Then, all of a sudden, he says, "did you know that I am blind?"
I said "WHAT?" he said, yes I am totally blind. I asked him what the hell was he doing hitch hiking across the US. Billy said that it was something he always wanted to do.
I found out later that Billy came from a rich family and he could have flown to California (probably in a private jet). I said "you're joking aren't you?" Then he took off his sunglasses. WOW!!! There was no disputing that he was blind.
So then I asked him, just how the hell did you do downhill skiing. He told me that he went with friends who skied along side him and guided him down the hill. He also told me that he was an avid golfer. I'll never understand that. He said that he has driven many motorcycles (with a sighted friend on the back of the seat).
Well, by now, He's got me laughing about all his adventures. So, Billy says that one thing that he has never done is drive a vehicle. He asks me if he may drive the truck. By now, I am laughing so hard that I am about to pee in my pants. Billy says, "do you think I could drive your truck?" I said, You must be nuts!!". He said, " I can do it".
Well, I was thinking that it would be utterly preposterous to let a blind man drive my truck on the highway, or any road, for that matter. I did not answer him for a few minutes. Then I thought, "he may never have this opportunity again." So, I said OK. I pulled over, and he slid over behind the steering wheel.
I told him that he would have to follow my instructions implicitly. The first thing was to get his feet acquainted with the pedals. That went well. I showed him how to use the shifter. After practicing shifting the gear lever and using the pedals, I had him start the engine. I looked on the road, and there was nobody around. I told him to rev up the engine a little and let out the clutch.
I thought to myself that this was the craziest thing that I had ever done, but on the other hand, it was a whole lot of fun. Billy was SO excited. I actually let him do the steering too. So we start moving forward and I tell him to turn the steering wheel a little to the left.
Now, we are on the road. He got the hang of shifting very quickly, however, for the half hour that he drove the truck, I had to tell him every two seconds how to turn the wheel. I am amazed how well he did. There were even cars and semi's that passed us. That was pretty scary for me. I was a good co-pilot though.
After a half hour, I asked him if he had had enough. He said that it was the funnest thing he had ever done in his life. So I drove the rest of the way and actually went way out of my way to drop him off at his aunt's house.
Then as he was getting out, he reaches into his backpack and counts out 10 one hundred dollar bills and hands them to me. I said,"you don't have to do that." He said " I've got more money than you may ever see. Apparently, he had more money than he would ever see!. He said thanks for an experience that he will remember for the rest of his life. I still don't know how he knew that they were 100 dollar bills.
Last edited by Rudy on Thu Jun 09, 2011 3:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.
I can't believe that your life has been so dull that you don't have at least one story to tell us. That's right!!! YOU, the one who is reading this RIGHT NOW. Just click on POST A REPLY. You don't even have to register. You can post as a guest. Of course, registering (which is free and painless) will allow you to edit your posts, if you should choose. Also it supports Sharkey, who started this beautiful and NON COMMERCIAL website. You won't see things popping up all over the screen trying to get you to buy this and that.
This website was begun to advance the knowledge of buses and the nomadic lifestyle of living in vehicles. I was very inspired after reading 30 Years In A Housetruck, written by Sharkey. The guy is brilliant. If he was able to spend all his time writing, he would be a major novelist. Go to the Bus Barn forum and read his magical words. You will be glad you did. Rudy
This website was begun to advance the knowledge of buses and the nomadic lifestyle of living in vehicles. I was very inspired after reading 30 Years In A Housetruck, written by Sharkey. The guy is brilliant. If he was able to spend all his time writing, he would be a major novelist. Go to the Bus Barn forum and read his magical words. You will be glad you did. Rudy
Since all the lurkers are tongue tied right now, I will fill in with another interesting story.
Back in the late '60's my dad worked for our church's publishing department. Once a year they held a retreat for a week for all the workers, and one summer they held it at Camp Yorktown Bay in Arkansas. Now this was an ex-Navy camp for the big wigs, so it was a nice camp. All the trails were paved, nothing was too good for the admirals!
This was also an area that had large timber rattle snakes who liked to come out at night and lay on the paved trails soaking up the residual heat. So in spite of repeated warnings to be very careful and always use a good flashlite when walking around at night, there were still several close calls with the rattle snakes.
About the middle of the week, there was one very close call one night and the lady involved "called out the troops" so may dad was sent to dispatch the snake. (It was over 5 feet long, and quite large- almost as big as your forearm. very impressive!)
My dad had a thought which he shared with a good friend of his. They put the snake in a cardboard box and put it under the podium and at the next morning's meeting when my dad's friend was speaking, my dad would grab the snake by the tail and pull it out pretending it was alive and scream "RATTLESNAKE!' while running down the aisle, of course waving it around to give the illusion that it was alive. This was to teach a vivid lesson to be careful of rattlesnakes.
The next morning I was sitting in the meeting unaware of what was to go down. At the pre-determined time my dad yelled "SNAKE, SNAKE!" and grabed the snake's tail and pulled it out, swinging it around as he did so.
The podium was at the ground level, and behind it were about 6 chairs occupied by older and some very heavyset gentlemen who were to take part in the meeting. Behind thier chairs was the raised platform or stage which was about 3 feet tall.
It almost seemed choreographed, it was a thing of weird beauty to behold all of the large older men jump up backwards from a sitting posistion and land up on the platform, one after another in succession as the snake invaded thier personal space as my dad swung it around.
After causing all those platform participants to foul thier pantaloons, he ran down the isle, pretending the snake was alive and swinging it from side to side. I was young and thought I was fast, but you should have seen some of the older ladies and men scamper for thier lives to avoid that snake! Folding chairs went flying and folks bailed for thier lives, or so they thought.
After about 5 minutes when things calmed down, and my dad reappeared and with his friend confessed to what had really happened, I could see that it struck such fear into everyone that I pity any poor snake that dared to show up after that. Of course I will always remember the seemingly choreographed backwards jump in uniform succession of the 6 older heavyweights. How I wish I had had a camera!
Back in the late '60's my dad worked for our church's publishing department. Once a year they held a retreat for a week for all the workers, and one summer they held it at Camp Yorktown Bay in Arkansas. Now this was an ex-Navy camp for the big wigs, so it was a nice camp. All the trails were paved, nothing was too good for the admirals!
This was also an area that had large timber rattle snakes who liked to come out at night and lay on the paved trails soaking up the residual heat. So in spite of repeated warnings to be very careful and always use a good flashlite when walking around at night, there were still several close calls with the rattle snakes.
About the middle of the week, there was one very close call one night and the lady involved "called out the troops" so may dad was sent to dispatch the snake. (It was over 5 feet long, and quite large- almost as big as your forearm. very impressive!)
My dad had a thought which he shared with a good friend of his. They put the snake in a cardboard box and put it under the podium and at the next morning's meeting when my dad's friend was speaking, my dad would grab the snake by the tail and pull it out pretending it was alive and scream "RATTLESNAKE!' while running down the aisle, of course waving it around to give the illusion that it was alive. This was to teach a vivid lesson to be careful of rattlesnakes.
The next morning I was sitting in the meeting unaware of what was to go down. At the pre-determined time my dad yelled "SNAKE, SNAKE!" and grabed the snake's tail and pulled it out, swinging it around as he did so.
The podium was at the ground level, and behind it were about 6 chairs occupied by older and some very heavyset gentlemen who were to take part in the meeting. Behind thier chairs was the raised platform or stage which was about 3 feet tall.
It almost seemed choreographed, it was a thing of weird beauty to behold all of the large older men jump up backwards from a sitting posistion and land up on the platform, one after another in succession as the snake invaded thier personal space as my dad swung it around.
After causing all those platform participants to foul thier pantaloons, he ran down the isle, pretending the snake was alive and swinging it from side to side. I was young and thought I was fast, but you should have seen some of the older ladies and men scamper for thier lives to avoid that snake! Folding chairs went flying and folks bailed for thier lives, or so they thought.
After about 5 minutes when things calmed down, and my dad reappeared and with his friend confessed to what had really happened, I could see that it struck such fear into everyone that I pity any poor snake that dared to show up after that. Of course I will always remember the seemingly choreographed backwards jump in uniform succession of the 6 older heavyweights. How I wish I had had a camera!
One time when my ex-wife was 9 months pregnant with our daughter, we were cleaning out the garage in the spring. I had dragged the picnic table out of the garage, and had brought out both trash cans so I could sweep out the garage.
My ex hated mice, they petrified her- they sent her into an absolute panic attack.
She told me she thought she could hear some type of noise or scratching in one of the trash cans, so I proceeded to tip it over to see what might come crawling out.
Yep, you guessed it- a little bitty mouse ran out and headed straight towards my ex. EXTREME panic attack!!
I am here to tell you that a 9-month pregnant women who looks like she had just swallowed a basketball can actually jump straight up and land on a picnic table on her feet, standing up! No running start, just straight up from a relaxed posistion on her feet. I measured how high the table top was from the ground, and it was 32-inches. I could not jump that high with a running start and land on my feet, much less with an extra 20 pounds hanging around my waist from a dead start. I would have to crawl up on the table now!
I had to sit down, I couldn't even stand, and laugh it out! My sides hurt from laughing so hard. For some reason she failed to see the humor in the situation that I did. I wonder why?
My ex hated mice, they petrified her- they sent her into an absolute panic attack.
She told me she thought she could hear some type of noise or scratching in one of the trash cans, so I proceeded to tip it over to see what might come crawling out.
Yep, you guessed it- a little bitty mouse ran out and headed straight towards my ex. EXTREME panic attack!!
I am here to tell you that a 9-month pregnant women who looks like she had just swallowed a basketball can actually jump straight up and land on a picnic table on her feet, standing up! No running start, just straight up from a relaxed posistion on her feet. I measured how high the table top was from the ground, and it was 32-inches. I could not jump that high with a running start and land on my feet, much less with an extra 20 pounds hanging around my waist from a dead start. I would have to crawl up on the table now!
I had to sit down, I couldn't even stand, and laugh it out! My sides hurt from laughing so hard. For some reason she failed to see the humor in the situation that I did. I wonder why?
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