A Funny Thing Happened.....

For anything that doesn't fit the other forums.

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Rudy
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Post by Rudy »

Adrenaline is amazing stuff. So dburt, is it just you and I who are pursuing this forum thread?

I know that there are many people enjoying it. I am holding out my next story until someone new contributes to this forum thread. I thought that Billy the blind man might get people jazzed enough to contribute. That is one of my best stories.

I have many more, but there must be some input from other folks to inspire me. I almost feel like telling everyone about that one of my feet is a different size than the other, But I am NOT going to do that. Signed Rudy The Funny Guy.

Come on people!!!!!
Last edited by Rudy on Wed Dec 02, 2009 2:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
TMAX
Officer Hormel
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Post by TMAX »

Hi folks, before I get started I have to say that Rudy is prodding me, so whatever happens here, it's his fault.

The first 19 years of Carin's and my marriage were spent in the back house on the property that we still inhabit (living in the front house now) in Bellflower, California.

Bob and Nancy (my in-laws) lived in the front house for the first 12 of those 19 years.

The back house is a large one bedroom, 2 story place. Upstairs is the bedroom and a small sitting room. Downstairs is the living room, kitchen, and bath. The kitchen is long and narrow ending with a right turn into the bathroom. Most of the length on the right side is occupied with cabinets, stove and sink, all with equal height to the counter top, a little over waist height.

One early morning (about 05:30 to 06:00 or so), I was in the bathroom getting ready for work. I was still half asleep. All of a sudden, I was hearing noises from the kitchen. I peered out past the bathroom door and saw Nancy looking for something in the fridge (milk for her coffee). I stepped out from behind the counter to say good morning. Only problem was that I forgot that I wasn't wearing any clothes. Nancy immediately got this shocked look on her face, dropped the half gallon of milk and ran for the door. I as well, quickly retreated to the bathroom. I wish to this day that a picture could have been taken of the expression on our faces. Both Nancy and I got lots of laughs whenever reminiscing about the morning encounter.

TMAX
Rudy
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Post by Rudy »

I imagine that there is not much that could be more em-bare-ass-ing than your mother-in-law to see you in the buff.
Rudy
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Location: Strangeweather, Mo.

Post by Rudy »

I went to the doctor to have my feet looked at. Part of the examination was having my feet measured. While doing the exam, the doctor said, "did you know that one of your feet is smaller than the other?"

I told him that I never knew that. On the drive home, after the doctor visit, I started thinking about what the doctor said about one foot being smaller than the other. It kinda bothered me.

A few months later, I had to be the Best Man at a friends wedding. I had to go get fitted for a tuxedo and shoes. While measuring my feet for shoes, I told the guy what the doctor had told me about one of my feet being smaller than the other.

He laughed and said, "doctors don't know ANYTHING!" "One of your feet is BIGGER than the other one!"
Last edited by Rudy on Wed Dec 02, 2009 2:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
Rudy
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Post by Rudy »

Lead Pencil Radio.

I wanted to tell you about something I read in a Scientific American magazine many years ago. There were some scientists that claimed you could make a radio receiver with nothing but two lead pencils.

I guess, back then, they had lead in the middle instead of graphite that is in pencils nowadays. The scientists said that if you removed the erasers and the metal holders and NOT sharpen the other end, you had the makings of a radio receiver.

They recommended that you use vaseline on the ends that you were to stick in your ears. Also, they said if you made a cap out of tin foil to stick on your head, it would center the reception to the pencils.

I have heard of people receiving radio transmissions through the fillings in their teeth. I guess the scientists were trying to achieve the same process.

I think you were supposed to use your arms and hands as an antennae. I tried it, but nothing happened.

I think that some people have more electricity in their bodies than others. I often wonder what makes people spontaneously combust. If anyone has had any experience with radio waves in their head, we sure would like to hear about it.

Also if anyone has read that article about the lead pencil radio and tried it, I sure would like to know if it worked.
Last edited by Rudy on Wed Dec 02, 2009 2:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
Griff
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Post by Griff »

Rudy wrote:...I think that some people have more electricity in their bodies than others...
I can't say about the pencil radio but, I can confirm your above statement on bodily electricity. To this day I cannot wear any battery operated wrist watch, be it analog quartz or digital.

For some reason, the electricity in my body will irreparably kill it within 3 days of daily wear. It has been proven on me on 3 separate occasions. (They weren't cheap flea-market watches either, they were (of reasonable) quality $75 - $100 watches.)

Since I haven't been able to find a regular "wind-up" watch, I have been wearing a mechanically "self-winding" watch.

I have also learned (the hard way) not to use a paperclip for a toothpick: I have actually gotten a shock from using one and touching it against one of my fillings.

I thought it was a fluke when it happened and being curious (and maybe a little stupid, heh), I repeated the action (for scientific reasons :roll: ) and got shocked every time. (Didn't pick up any radio stations though, couldn't stand to keep the connection, heh!)
~(G)Q Arduously Avoiding Assimilation
TMAX
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Post by TMAX »

Hi Rudy, what you might be thinking about on the lead pencil radio is a variation on the old, simple crystal radio. To my knowledge, this came about during WWII. It was called the foxhole radio. It was assumed that the operator (service man) had a headphone, a little bit of wire, and some large metal object to connect the wire to (bench, chair, window frame, spent jeep or tank or anything metal. The critical missing part was the crystal detector. Some creative person (like Sharkey) realized that a pencil lead and razor blade would make an effective detector (very much like the old fashioned galena crystal and cat-whisker used in early crystal radios).

I never heard of dipping a pencil in vaseline and sticking it in your ear. Makes me want to go for the Q-tips just thinking about it.

TMAX
Rudy
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Post by Rudy »

A turkey story from TMAX.

Hi Rudy, interesting story about the attack tom turkey. I have not had (fortunately) as much experience with this sort of bird as you. I do know a little about them though. The head changing colour is an emotional reaction, tom's heads will go from pale red to dark blue when excited or angered. The "noodle" is his comb (similar to a rooster's). It's always there, only more prominent when his head darkens. He attacked with his wings and feet, typical for many larger yard fowl.

Years ago, we had a large Embden (white) gander named Sarge. He was quite the asshole and the way I treated him never improved our relationship. Almost every day when I came home from work, Sarge would charge me when I entered the yard. I quickly learned the best thing to do was grab, then sit on him (not my total weight, that would be too much) and proceed to dutch rubs (goose noogies). While doing this, his eyes went from deep azure blue to dark red (he was really pissed off). I would then throw him out from under me. As soon as he hit the ground, he would pirouette, throw his wings out, start hissing and honking loudly. But he never came around for seconds on the same day. Eventually he got me though. One day I entered the yard with my hands full, he realized right away that opportunity was knocking his door down. He ran up and latched on to my shoe (I'm glad I was wearing shoes). Raised a huge bruse on my foot. Fair play I guess.
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Dennis The Bus Dweller
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Post by Dennis The Bus Dweller »

Im digging deep to find something to put on this tread, we'll see
Peace along the way
Dennis the bus dweller N.Y.
Rudy
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Post by Rudy »

Dennis, Surely you must have pulled some pranks that you can tell us about.
Rudy
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Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2009 3:01 pm
Location: Strangeweather, Mo.

Post by Rudy »

dburt wrote:How about-

"We don't smoke, drink or chew,
or associate with those that do!
Go Tinkerbells, go Tinkerbells!"

(Santa's football team)
Tink Her Bells? Hmm!
Rudy
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Post by Rudy »

Calling all guests, Calling all guests. Here's your chance to impress your friends. Just click Post A Reply at the bottom and tell us a funny story. Then tell all your friends to go to this forum and read it. It's a lot easier than emailing. You also have the benefit of acquiring a bit of fame. It sure is fun, once you get the ball rolling. You would be surprised how you can spark people to laugh and then become inspired to write some more. Funny Fun Fun!
PapaBrewsky
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Post by PapaBrewsky »

I needed to make a quick trip to the hardware store to get some bolts for a project I was building. I decided to take my motorcycle, and I grabbed my old helmet only to find that the padding in the center had fallen out. I put it on, but it was painful on my bald head, so I grabbed a sock out of my rag box & stuffed it in the helmet. When I got to the hardware store there were a couple of guys talking out front, and one of them looked at me as I stopped and took off the helmet. He was drinking a coke & he spewed it all over laughing. I reached up & there curled up on the top of my bald head was the sock. Embarrassing.
PapaBrewsky
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Post by PapaBrewsky »

I used to ride my motorcycle to work in downtown Nashville, Tennessee. We had this salesman that worked out of Iowa that was a real jerk, and he came to visit the company headquarters. He saw my motorcycle & immediately wanted to take it for a ride. I threw him the keys, but failed to mention that there was a helmet law in Tennessee. I was secretly hoping he'd get a ticket, and sure enough, he came back really steamed, all pissed off because a cop had stopped him & reamed him out about not wearing a helmet. I started laughing & he got mad at me for not telling him, so I told him that the cop was just messing with him; that we didn't have a helmet law. He got even more ticked off then, and started cussing the cop! I messed with him every time he came to town.
dburt
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Post by dburt »

Griff, it appears you have an electric personality!! Or is it magnetic personality? Or maby you have an electric presence?

I call this one "Trapped like a rat in the Safeway service station Restoom"

A few years back I went with a friend of mine on a mission to retrieve a tractor or some such vehicle in his pickup truck with his trailer. We stopped at a Safeway store that had a Safeway service station where he could get cheaper fuel then at the regular stations.

While he was fueling up, I went around to the back of the building where the single restroom was, and went in to do my stuff. When I was done, I went to the door and pulled on it to go out. It would not open. Well, I thought the lock was stuck, so I worked the lock several times and then tried it again. No luck! I began to get uneasy, I was sure Ed was waiting for me, wondering what was taking me so long, I knew he was in a hurry.
I kept pulling on the door, fiddling with the lock. Nothing!

It occurred to me that maby Ed was messing with me by holding the door outside, so I yelled at him. No answer. I was starting to panic. I studied the hinges and decided I would have to pull the pins with my lockblade knife to get out. But before I did that, I decided that I would hold the handle in the open posistion, and shove against (key word here- "against" the door, not pulling on it!) the door with all my might to see if I could force whatever was holding the door shut, and get out that way.

I was breaking out, they weren't gonna hold me any longer, so I took a two step running start while holding the handle down, and proceeded to go flying out the door and into the parking lot, stumbling and staggering around due to my violent effort with my shoulder to force the door to open.

Well, I tired to recover and look nonchalant, and hoped no one saw me. Luckily, Ed was still out front waiting for me in his truck. So I decided to look at what was wrong with the door so I could report it to the station managment so no one else would get trapped in the bathroom.

It was then that I discovered that the door opened to the OUTSIDE because it was a wheelchair friendly bathroom and their doors always open to the OUTSIDE, NOT the inside as my brain had insisted.

And there I was ready to take the door off the hinges to get out. Imagine how I would have explained that to the station manager! Or Ed!
Last edited by dburt on Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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