How to get a divorce, or end a good friendship
Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 4:08 pm
This might do better under "a funny thing happened" thread- but here goes! (If I already told this story somewhere else, forgive me)
A good friend of mine decided he wanted to restore a tractor, so I found him an old John Deere B wide front, about a '49 model that another friend of mine had sitting out in a pasture. It was sunk down into the ground about 9 inches- a sign that it had sat there for a spell!
The tires were all flat, but hey- I had luck before so I took along the portable air tank and what do you know, they all took air and held it!
Things were looking good now. I volunteered my wife to pull me with our pickup while I was on the tractor for about 4 miles back to our house where I could do some prelimanary work on the tractor before trailering it to town to my friend's shop to begin the real restoration.
When an old tractor sits on the very old bias ply tires for any length of time over, say an hour- well, they tend to take a large flat spot on the bottom side and when you begin to roll on four "3/4 round with a large flat spot" tires it can be a rough ride. So, I instructed the wife to drive at a walking pace, so as not to throw me off the tractor.
Perhaps it was PMS?
Maby it was a little irritation that I had drug her out on another recovery project? 
Anyway, we started off down the road, and pretty soon we were going at a speed that way exceeded my expectations! I was bouncing up and down so high and hard that I feared that I might damage the metal seat, luckily my butt softened the blow each time I came down. Soon it seemed all the tire flat spots got in sync and as the tractor crow-hopped down the road at the end of the chain I swear my wife was laughing and speeding up even more just to see what would happen.
I was yelling at the top of my voice
and standing on the brakes whenever I managed to come down, holding on to the steering wheel for dear life AND planning the divorce proceedings! (Who says I can't multi-task with the best of 'em? 
)
"Your honor, this woman threatened my life and put me in mortal danger, and laughed when I was nearly killed!"
By the time we got home, I was livid- I could hardly spit out my words because my anger was so hot. (Probably compounded by my sore tail end!) So I asked her why she did not slow down when I yelled at her to "slow down, SLOW DOWN!!"? Her reply?
"I couldn't hear what you were saying!"
It was a good thing it was past 5 and the divorce lawyer had gone home already. 19 years later we are still together, and she has learned to drag me around on a tractor at the end of a chain slowly as in S-L-O-W-L-Y!
A good friend of mine decided he wanted to restore a tractor, so I found him an old John Deere B wide front, about a '49 model that another friend of mine had sitting out in a pasture. It was sunk down into the ground about 9 inches- a sign that it had sat there for a spell!
The tires were all flat, but hey- I had luck before so I took along the portable air tank and what do you know, they all took air and held it!
Things were looking good now. I volunteered my wife to pull me with our pickup while I was on the tractor for about 4 miles back to our house where I could do some prelimanary work on the tractor before trailering it to town to my friend's shop to begin the real restoration.
When an old tractor sits on the very old bias ply tires for any length of time over, say an hour- well, they tend to take a large flat spot on the bottom side and when you begin to roll on four "3/4 round with a large flat spot" tires it can be a rough ride. So, I instructed the wife to drive at a walking pace, so as not to throw me off the tractor.
Perhaps it was PMS?
Maby it was a little irritation that I had drug her out on another recovery project? Anyway, we started off down the road, and pretty soon we were going at a speed that way exceeded my expectations! I was bouncing up and down so high and hard that I feared that I might damage the metal seat, luckily my butt softened the blow each time I came down. Soon it seemed all the tire flat spots got in sync and as the tractor crow-hopped down the road at the end of the chain I swear my wife was laughing and speeding up even more just to see what would happen. I was yelling at the top of my voice
and standing on the brakes whenever I managed to come down, holding on to the steering wheel for dear life AND planning the divorce proceedings! (Who says I can't multi-task with the best of 'em? ) "Your honor, this woman threatened my life and put me in mortal danger, and laughed when I was nearly killed!"
By the time we got home, I was livid- I could hardly spit out my words because my anger was so hot. (Probably compounded by my sore tail end!) So I asked her why she did not slow down when I yelled at her to "slow down, SLOW DOWN!!"? Her reply?
"I couldn't hear what you were saying!"
It was a good thing it was past 5 and the divorce lawyer had gone home already. 19 years later we are still together, and she has learned to drag me around on a tractor at the end of a chain slowly as in S-L-O-W-L-Y!