Ghetto Pot Roast

[Rudy]

UPDATE: The experimental meal has been cooking for three hours now. I think I put way too much garlic in there. My solution is to put a cup of rice and a half cup of pasta. I hope that will calm it down. Now I have to watch that it doesn't boil over. It is comical. I would be embarrassed if someone were to see this experiment. I sure hope it is edible by the end of the day. This "cooking" may not be as easy as I thought. A report will be coming later. Luckily, there is no one here to laugh at me. Although, I would laugh as well. I am just concerned about saving a few days worth of food. It appears that I may be as inept with cooking as I am with dressing myself. Can you say "color blind"?

[dburt]

One good thing about Garlic is that it "cooks down" as I call it. The more it cooks, the more it loses alot of it's potency. So at first it may seem over powering, but then it loses alot of it's kick the longer it cooks and is more edible when you are finally ready to eat the stew. One thing to always watch for, and that is to not let your water all boil away leaving your food to burn. Always keep a good level of water to cook your food in, and not let it burn on the bottom.

[Rudy]

Thanks DB, I will stir it all day.

[Rudy]

My mystery meal has been cooking for 6 hours now. I think it is done. So here is a picture of "The bucket of Mush". It actually does taste good. Strange, but good. That's what I am eating for the next few days. I'm not so sure that I want to experiment too much. Perhaps next time I will try some recipes that have been proven.

[Rudy]

CORRECTION: I just ate a bowl of this stuff, and I must say that I am probably the only person who WOULD eat it. It is strange. If I was a food connoisseur, I would not even consider partaking in the mush. Fortunately, I have simple tastes (in everything), so I will imbibe. I really don't know if I will get through the whole batch. I can't see enduring this crazy food for three days. You can all laugh now because I certainly am. BUT WAIT! It's healthy food. YEAH RIGHT! You can probably get better grub in the local jail. So I sing--- Where oh where is my cooking lady---Oh where oh where can she be?---with a smile on her face---and the food in it's place---Oh where oh where can she be. I'm gonna make a cup of coffee now. I do that really well.

[Rudy]

ADDENDUM: I am sad to report that for the past three hours I have been burping up garlic. My stomach is sore. I would probably eat the rest of my crockpot, but I think that I will take it out to the woods and dump it. I feel so inadequate. Boo Hoo! I will go to the grocery store and get the ingredients for a tried and true recipe. Tonight, I am going to eat out of a can. I had hoped that my experimental meal would work. There was just TOO MUCH garlic. Another lesson learned. I have to laugh, otherwise, I would get depressed. I was hoping that I could somehow, by osmosis, become the Wolfgang Puck of crockpottery. But, NO, I failed miserably this time. So, here are some lyrics from a Beatles song: Help, I need somebody, Help, not just anybody, Help, you know I need someone, Won't you please, please, please help me? And in the immortal words of John Travolta, from one of his movies, "what a predicament!" I gotta laugh. Rudy

[dburt]

Ok Rudy, here is one of my batchelor recipes. Take one small bag of lentils, (1/2 bag if small crockpot). Season to taste with Mrs. Dash Chipotle seasoning, and some Weber's Grill Creations Smokey Mesquite seasoning.
Add a small but adequate amount of garlic powder, not garlic salt. Add your turkey burger and cook for 3-4 hours. Take heart, it takes a little while expermenting to get it all down pat and knowing just what to add and how much for your particular size pot. But it will come to you, keep trying and don't give up! If you can figure out music, I know you can figure out cooking batchelor style. Think of cooking as musical cuisine. Be the food. Be the seasoning. Let it flow- zen like! Own that crockpot!!

[Rudy]

DB, That is too funny. " Be the food". OK, I will be the food. You crack me up! It is hit or miss at this point. I will have to use other's recipes until I get the hang of it. Thanks for watching over this adventure. Rudy

[Dennis The Bus Dweller]

Rudy

In the words of David Carradine, “ When you can walk across the rice paper while cooking lentils in your crock pot will be a “samurai bachelorâ€

[Rudy]

Dennis, I used to live in the Hollywood Hills. I lived very near to David Carradine's house. It was not fancy. He had Christmas lights on the outside of it that he kept lit at night the whole year long. He was the only one in the neighborhood that had chickens and a goat AND a horse. Every once and a while, the horse would get loose and a bunch of us neighbors would have to chase it down. What a chore that was.

[Rudy]

After one serving of my mystery meal, it stayed in the fridge for two days. I just now took it to the woods and dumped it. I hope I don't make some animal sick. Tonight, I am going to make some of the stuff Dennis sent to me. I will follow the directions on the packages, so it should come out good. No meat tonight, just vegetarian stuff. It is mid afternoon now, and I haven't eaten yet. I had better get to cooking. I've been doing lots of chores since this morning. The first thing I did was dump my holding tank. I can go three weeks between dumps. I have a blue tank with wheels that I dump the bus into, and then I wheel it to the septic tank. I use rubber gloves. It wasn't that stinky today because I have been using that blue stuff that comes in a bag that deodorizes. It works well. The first time I undertook this chore was a gagger. I also moved my (yet to be installed) front tires to a shed so they would not be exposed to the sun. I also went to the water spigot (I call it going to the river) to fill up 9 gallons in my one gallon containers. I have been saving Gatorade (1 quart) plastic bottles. I have 35 of them. I filled all of them up with water and will be using them for target practice. I've got a bunch of dishes soaking at the "river" and am taking a break right now. I gotta head on out and wash the dishes. Rudy

[Rudy]

Success! I made a crockpot meal yesterday that came out great. I used a package of Sicilian white bean soup mix, a package of Parma Rosa sauce seasoning, 1/2 box of Penne pasta, AND a small can of dried corned beef that I found amongst my cans. I put two quarts of water in the crockpot and put all the ingredients in there. I cooked it on high for almost four hours. It smelled great and tasted great. I am glad to have at least three more meals out of it. I did not take a picture because it looks like the other soup style meals I have done. Someday soon will come chili, and then I will make the Ghetto Pot Roast that got this whole thread started. Thanks Dennis, you made it happen for me. Rudy

[Dennis The Bus Dweller]

OMG! Rudy, Good for you buddy Hey I'll hook you up with everything you need for a great pot of chili except for the meet and veggies. It cost nothing to do. I'll pre pack all needed powders and such in ziploc bags and all you'll have to do is dumpit in the crockpot and get on with it. You can used what ever meat you want. Do you want a 1 LB setup or 2 LB set? Ya know, you can weather most anything if you stay feed. I love food

[Rudy]

Dennis, I don't know if my crockpot will do 2lbs. It is 8 inches around and 6 inches tall. It is not one of those tiny ones. I suppose it is a medium one. It is made by Rival. It is model #3150. Here's a cool thing. It was made in Sedalia Missouri, USA. I love chili. Thanks, Rudy

[dburt]

Three weeks between dumps Rudy??? Your diet must be really bad if you get that constipated! Someone needs to send you a sack of prunes! Ok, ok, I know what you meant, but it just struck me funny when I read that post!