A Funny Thing Happened.....

[Phil Feinstein]

>Oh, and the 93 yr old selling Viagra?

>A couple of people have threatened to turn him in for drug dealing.....

Um, well...Yeah, he is!

However Viagra isn't on the list of "Controlled substances", so I don't think they'll get very far with their threat. It's like being considered a drug dealer for selling Advil. Not exactly a Miami Vice moment.

[Dennis The Bus Dweller]

The cops were going to go get him but something came up

[Griff]

The cops were going to go get him but something came up

...rode him out on a rail...

[dburt]

True Story- When I was in college, my younger brother also attended the same college, but he lived in one of the men's residence halls while I lived with my wife in an apartment in one of the women's residence halls where my wife worked as a housing manager.

There was a big old farm kid from N Dakota who roomed just down the hall from my brother. He was really "fresh off the farm" and he used to come over to my brother's room and visit and take in college dorm life from watching the more experienced, cosmopolitian students who drifted in and out of my brother's circle of friends. One day he watched my brother take a couple of Alka-seltzer tablets for a headache and stomach upset, and he asked my brother what it was he was taking. My brother explained all the benefits of Alka-seltzer and the farm kid seemed to get it.

A couple of weeks later, right in the middle of flu season the big farm kid shows up at my brother's room, and complained of headache and stomach ache due to the flu going around. My brother suggested he try some Alka-seltzer, "plop plop, fizz fizz, oh what a relief it is" and proceeded to open a single dose two tablet packet and hold them out to the kid with a glass of water.

What happened next made college dorm lore! The farm kid takes both tablets and popped both of them in his mouth, and proceeded to swallow them down whole with the glass of water, like they were giant sized aspirin or some such thing My brother just stood there in unbelief- until the potential gravity of the situation kicked in and he told the kid to sit down and when he needed to burp, just go with it!

Several other kids had stopped by, and then watched with my brother as the poor big farm kid started one very long steady LOUD burp that lasted for over 2 minutes. He began to have a worried look on his face, but my brother and the other kids cheered him on, and with such a support group he did what my brother had told him to do, and "just went with it"

After such an ordeal, my brother asked him if he felt any better and he admitted that, yes- he did feel better already! OK!

I'm glad my brother wasn't handing out Viagra that night!

[graydawg]

I sure am glad rudy is not my neighbor, and I thought, I was a prankster james graydawg

[Dennis The Bus Dweller]

He's a hand full that Rudy

[Granny]

Some of you have seen "The Winter Projects" thread on here, and my panels. I just built some other style panels recently, and gates. Today, in the lovely weather, the dogs and I were outside, I was painting a panel - hunter green. Something set the dogs off, the ran past me knocking my almost finished being painted - panel into me (it was standing up against the tree). You guessed it, I am now green, and not with envy.

[Rudy]

Get those dogs some glasses!

[Rudy]

It was in basic training that I met Dwight Cook. He was from New York city. He grew up in a circus family. He was, quite likely, the strongest person I have ever met. We had some fun in basic, but, it wasn't until we both were transferred to our second base where we went to tech school that the real fun began.
Let me go back a little and tell you a testament to Dwight's strength and agility. In basic training, our squad was on the third floor of the barracks. One day, Dwight did a hand stand and proceeded to walk on his hands towards the barracks. With his feet, he opened the main door, and started walking up the six sets of steps to the third floor. Then he opened the door to our barracks, (with his feet) and while still walking on his hands, went over to his bunk, got onto the mattress, got on to one of the metal bed posts, and THEN did twenty upside down one arm pushups on the bed post.

[Rudy]

So, we get to our next base which was in Illinois during January. One day, it was 54 below zero with the wind chill factor.
Dwight and I were scheduled to got to classes on D shift. that was midnight until six in the morning.
I sat at the back of the class on the left. Dwight sat at the back of the class on the right. Both he and I had developed clever ways of falling asleep yet still looking like we were paying attention to the teacher.
So Dwight looks over my way and patiently waits till I nod out. Now the fun begins. He crawls over to my desk, and with a lighter, starts my fatigue pants on fire, and scurries back to his desk. Within seconds, I awake and start beating out the red hot hole in my pant leg. I look over towards him to see a most devilish grin on his face.
Dwight and I were roommates, and I knew he had a penchant for fire. One time, in our barracks room, he stood by the door, blocking me in, and said he was gonna light me on fire.
I really didn't believe him until he came after me with a butane lighter refill bottle that threw a three foot flame.
Well, he's got this flame going and chases me around the room, never letting me get close to the door. I run to the bed and hold up a blanket which he lights on fire. I escaped by throwing the blanket (which was aflame) at him, and running out the door.

[Rudy]

The flaming blanket was the first fire attack. I did not think it would go further than that, but it was after that incident that he started the classroom attacks.
Remember, now, that Dwight had burnt a hole in my pant leg in class. I figured, then, that this was war.
So I patiently wait until Dwight dozes off in class. I crawl over and light his fatigue shirt on fire. He wakes up quickly with a yelp, and puts out his shirt. I look over at him, barely able to contain my laughter. He then gives me a look that really scared me.
After class, he asked me why I lit his shirt on fire. I told him that he started this whole thing, and now it was war. Apparently he thought that was fair.
For the next two weeks, the game continued. Back and forth. The tally was two of my pants and one of my shirts; one of his pants, and one of his shirts.
One day I told Dwight, "Look, you are ahead right now. I am willing to stop" It was then that we called a truce.

[Rudy]

Just a few interesting items about Dwight. He had an Oldsmobile 442. He got stopped quite a few times for speeding. Every time, he would call me up, and I would have to go bail him out for $50. The third time he called me, I said that I was not going to bail him out unless he gave me the car for a month. He agreed.
Dwight would eat a box of Argo starch every day.
Dwight did not like "Crackers" which is what white people were called back then.
Dwight introduced me to the music of James Brown, Curtis Mayfield, and The Funkadelics.
We went to Chicago to see the Funkadelics. Dwight let me borrow his white silk suit and big brim. I was one of perhaps four white people at that concert. At least I had the threads and the brim.
So the band is on stage really cookin good. Bootsy Collins is pumpin out the bass. There are eight musicians up there. Each one of them is wearing an outrageous costume. George Clinton is not up there yet. I am sitting near the aisle. All of a sudden, I see somebody scooting down the aisle. He runs up to the front row, jumps up and scares the shit out of the girl that was sitting there. THEN, like magic, he takes three leaps toward the stage, grabs the mic, and on the down beat, starts singing. Amazing. Oh, George was painted half gold and half black.

[splummer]

still cant find a funny think to add, but maybe this is close . just before being dicharged from the military ,i had to go thru processing to get out, it was a very busy day there and me and my buddy were gettingimpatient so enstead of waiting there to be called , wewent next door where they had a pool table , we were playing pool when they called for me, i didnt respond fast enough for them and i was charged with being awol, it wasnt funny then but looking back at it ,i just have to laugh, well thats it thats my funny thing that happened

[graydawg]

MAN YOU ARE A TRIP like i said you would be a heck of a neighbor, don't think I could handle it

[graydawg]

I bet the military was happy when you left, I know there were some that were happy when I left, but then there were others that were sad when I left in aug of 84. I would not have had some of the adventure's I have had but I wouldn't do it again for no amount of money. The AIR FORCE wanted me to go back to Incirlic Turkey and stay for 18 month's, I had 10 month's left on my enlistment, and I laughed at them so hard when they ask me to extend to take that assignment or better yet they offered me $3200 for four more years of my life, I gracefully laughed in thier face, and declined. Take care and will see you around the site, Mr Sharkey has created a fine place where we can go to when life has you down, but I plan on staying around when LIFE gets back good for me as well, Later
james GRAYDAWGS driver