A Funny Thing Happened.....

Rudy · Post by **Rudy** » Tue Apr 05, 2011 9:07 pm

Honey, there's someone at the door.

Rudy · Post by **Rudy** » Tue Apr 05, 2011 9:11 pm

I got electric windows.

Rudy · Post by **Rudy** » Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:08 am

I woke up this morning and was aghast because my "johnson" was yellow.

Then I remembered I ate a bag of Cheetos last night.

Rudy · Post by **Rudy** » Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:44 am

Super Cat.

Rudy · Post by **Rudy** » Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:48 am

It's a home run.

Griff · Post by **Griff** » Wed Apr 06, 2011 5:12 am

Well...if you wouldn't stand for the other one...perhaps you'll stoop for this one...

An Indiana Jones-type named Sam stops in at a bar for a drink.

"Barkeep! Two long-necks, please!"

The bartender places two beers before Sam and returns to wiping glasses. As the bartender is wiping, he observes Sam as he chugs down one beer and pours the other beer into his pant pocket. Placing both empties on the bar, he requests two more.

The bartender, a little curious, fetches and places two more long-necks before Sam and returns to his duties while inconspicuously watching him. Once again he watches Sam down one beer, pour the second into his pocket, and request another round.

Bringing the next round, the bartender's curiosity gets the best of him and he inquires, "Please forgive me sir, but why are you pouring those beers in your pocket?"

After chugging one down and pouring one into his pocket, Sam replies, "Oh, I never drink alone, those beers are for my buddy Roger, he's been my right-hand man for years," and reaching into his pocket, he extracts a tiny, 4" tall figure and stands it on the bar.

Dumbfounded, the bartender exclaims, "You're trying to tell me he's drinking the beer!?!" "The next round's on the house if you can prove it!" he says, setting up two more.

Sam grabs the first beer and chugs it down. Then he picks up the second and tips it to Roger's lips. To the bartender's bewilderment, Roger chugs it right down. The bartender cannot believe his eyes! "WOW! If I hadn't seen it, I'da never believed it, here's another round on the house...can he do anything else?"

After the beers are downed, Sam says, "Of course he can, he's my right-hand man!" Sam takes three dimes out of his bar change, hands them to Roger and says, "Roger, juggle these dimes for the man." Roger juggles the dimes for a few seconds and hands them back to Sam. The bartender is incredulous, and setting up another round asks, "Can he walk!?!"

"Of course he can walk!" (beers are downed) "Roger, take a hike down the bar for the man." Roger trots a couple feet down the bar and returns to his post. The bartender is totally amazed at what he is witnessing and after setting up yet another round, finally inquires, "Can he talk!?!"

"Of course he can talk!" (beers downed) "Roger, tell the man 'bout the time we were in the Amazons and you called that witch doctor a phoney!"

Rudy · Post by **Rudy** » Wed Apr 06, 2011 5:24 am

Griff, that was funny. ...ting tang walla walla bing bang

Stealth Camper · Post by **Stealth Camper** » Wed Apr 06, 2011 5:42 am

Ooo, eeee, ooo, ahh, ahh....

Rudy, you forgot the first part of it...

ezrablu · Post by **ezrablu** » Fri Apr 08, 2011 3:03 pm

MIDDLE AGE TEXTING CODES:

ATD: At The Doctors.
BFF: Best Friend Fell.
BTW: Bring the Wheelchair.
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth.
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was.
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low.
GHA: Got Heartburn Again.
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out.
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner.
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas!
ROFLACGU: Rolling On Floor Laughing And Can't Get Up.
TTYL: Talk To You Louder

Jones'n4chrome · Post by **Jones'n4chrome** » Fri Apr 08, 2011 4:25 pm

Bob · Post by **Bob** » Fri Apr 08, 2011 5:52 pm

A set of jumper cables walk into a bar and order a drink....the bartender says "OK...but I dont want you starting anything in here!"

ezrablu · Post by **ezrablu** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 3:44 am

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Griff · Post by **Griff** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 5:03 am

Two atoms are walking down the sidewalk when they accidentally bump into each other.
"I'm really sorry," the first atom said. "Are you all right?"
"Actually no," said the second atom. "I lost an electron."
"Oh no! Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"

ezrablu · Post by **ezrablu** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 5:06 am

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal
thermometer?

The taste.

Griff · Post by **Griff** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 5:11 am

@ ezra: EW-w-w-w!

A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

NOMADICISTA

A Funny Thing Happened.....

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