Thats so twistedA Funny Thing Happened.....
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Dennis The Bus Dweller
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Dennis The Bus Dweller
- Seasoned Nomadicista
- Posts: 1883
- Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2004 9:33 am
- Location: Southold N.Y.
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From Bubba01
When my wife was a young girl, teachers would tell her enthusiastically "You can BE anything you WANT to BE!" and she would tell them enthusiastically "I want to be a big black basketball player guy eight feet tall!" and they would say, "Er, um, ah," and she'd say "So I CAN'T actually be anything I want?" and they'd say "Ah, uh, um," and she'd say "I'm just kidding, I want to be a teacher," and they'd whew with relief and scamper away to inspire someone else.
When my wife was a young girl, teachers would tell her enthusiastically "You can BE anything you WANT to BE!" and she would tell them enthusiastically "I want to be a big black basketball player guy eight feet tall!" and they would say, "Er, um, ah," and she'd say "So I CAN'T actually be anything I want?" and they'd say "Ah, uh, um," and she'd say "I'm just kidding, I want to be a teacher," and they'd whew with relief and scamper away to inspire someone else.
Got love? Give love.
Another from Bubba01
People tell me to make my dreams come true, and I ask "Even the one where the floor opens up and there are whirling knives and then the ceiling starts to drop?" They tell me no, not that one, and I scream "Then it must be the one with the fire, and the burning sheep! No! Aah!" Then they tell me NOT to try to make my dreams come true.
People tell me to make my dreams come true, and I ask "Even the one where the floor opens up and there are whirling knives and then the ceiling starts to drop?" They tell me no, not that one, and I scream "Then it must be the one with the fire, and the burning sheep! No! Aah!" Then they tell me NOT to try to make my dreams come true.
Got love? Give love.
This was sent to me by a friend. He knows who he is.
Charlie's wife, Debbie, had been after him for several weeks to paint the
seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Debbie was
out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she
returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting
in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she
realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet
seat. About that time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament.
They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in
desperation, Charlie undid the toilet seat bolts. Debbie wrapped a sheet
around herself and Charlie drove her to the hospital emergency room.
The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free
her (Try to get a mental picture of this.). Debbie tried to lighten the
embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never
seen anything like this before." The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've
seen lots of them. I just never saw one mounted and framed."
Charlie's wife, Debbie, had been after him for several weeks to paint the
seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Debbie was
out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she
returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting
in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she
realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet
seat. About that time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament.
They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in
desperation, Charlie undid the toilet seat bolts. Debbie wrapped a sheet
around herself and Charlie drove her to the hospital emergency room.
The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free
her (Try to get a mental picture of this.). Debbie tried to lighten the
embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never
seen anything like this before." The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've
seen lots of them. I just never saw one mounted and framed."
Got love? Give love.
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Dennis The Bus Dweller
- Seasoned Nomadicista
- Posts: 1883
- Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2004 9:33 am
- Location: Southold N.Y.
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It is amazing what us old dogs can come up with.
One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly,
"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.
The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.
The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...
"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"
Moral of this story...
Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
If you don't send this to five 'old' friends right away, there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.
Of course, I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more 'youthfully challenged'.
You did notice the size of the print, didn't you?
One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly,
"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.
The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.
The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...
"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"
Moral of this story...
Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
If you don't send this to five 'old' friends right away, there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.
Of course, I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more 'youthfully challenged'.
You did notice the size of the print, didn't you?
Peace along the way
Dennis the bus dweller N.Y.
Dennis the bus dweller N.Y.
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Dennis The Bus Dweller
- Seasoned Nomadicista
- Posts: 1883
- Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2004 9:33 am
- Location: Southold N.Y.
- Contact:
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Dennis The Bus Dweller
- Seasoned Nomadicista
- Posts: 1883
- Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2004 9:33 am
- Location: Southold N.Y.
- Contact:
-
Dennis The Bus Dweller
- Seasoned Nomadicista
- Posts: 1883
- Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2004 9:33 am
- Location: Southold N.Y.
- Contact:
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Stealth Camper
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